My name is Yazan and are Palestinians from the Yarmouk refuge in Damascus.
I plugged journalism and had a clothing store. I lived a good life, because I plucked and worked with things I liked. I was thinking about leaving the country when it became uncertain in Damascus. This was in 2012.
It became tough in my area where I lived and I was studying outside the area, it was difficult to get in and out of the place. The policemen often stopped us and questioned us. All these signs made me leave the country.
I flew to Jordan. This was the first time in my life as I move from Syria to live elsewhere. The situation in Syria became worse and the situation at the refugee settlement. It was also tough for me that my family lived in another country.
I tried to get my parents to travel to Jordan. It succeeded. My life got a bit better. What happens in Syria happened to everyone and I could not influence the events. I could only wait and see the development.
Flying to Europe came suddenly and was not planned. I heard from friends, the internet and news that many people go to Europe and in different ways. I first thought that I would not risk my life.
At first it was just a little talk and then it started to get serious. I became serious to one hundred percent when I knew I was not going to travel alone. Two of my friends should come along. Even my aunt and her children, but they were going to Germany. My grandmother was the only one to travel. She and I stood close together. My grandmother asked me why I wanted to travel. “Do you want to kill yourself?” If you are going to travel then I travel with you! “I responded that I have to travel and she will come with me. I also decided to bring my little brother.
Then our journey began. We traveled from Jordan to Libya. When I got off the plane in Libya I saw a ruined airport. One could not see that this was an airport. Then I felt very scared.
We got in touch with a smuggler who picked us up and drove us in his car. He warned us that there were a lot of criminals on the road and that you did not know what dangers you would encounter. He drove us from Tripoli to a city called Zwara. What was hard was that, besides taking care of myself, I also had responsibility for my little brother and my grandmother.
We arrived at Zwara and were told that we would go into a house. The boat trip would start in the evening. We were also told by the smuggler that it would be a big boat. But when we arrived at the beach, it was only a wooden boat that seats about 20 people. We were about 100 people.
There were 2-3 smugglers with arms standing by the beach. They informed us that the return person is being shot. One of the smugglers said, “Here you see a rock, the one who turns and goes past the stone I will shoot!” I thought they would only scare us. There were two young people who would turn back and I told them I should accompany them. The youth passed by the stone and the smuggler shot them down.
I understood that I had no choice. If I were to return, I would be shot. If I went by the wooden boat I would also die. We went with everything after all and I helped my grandmother up in the wooden boat. It started to get dark. We were many and the wooden boat started to sink, there was a machine that automatically emptied the water but it stopped working. The boat took in water. It felt like death was waiting for me. I could die at any time. I gave up and was prepared to drown. I thought I’d rather die than sleeping. I did not want to see my brother or grandma drowning, or any of the other people who fled with us.
Suddenly we saw a big boat coming against us. Someone informed us that they would receive the children first, then the women and finally the men. It got dark and the big boat took us to the city of Catania in Sicily.
The next day we booked the train to Milan, where we traveled for 12 hours. Now I began to feel better, the fear disappeared. I started kidding with my little brother that we had a holiday in Milan. He was small and did not understand anything.
I met an older man standing next to his car. I asked if he could help us to take us to Germany and drop my cousins there and then drive on to Sweden. The man was afraid and did not want to help us at first. Then he saw my grandmother who was very tired. Then he changed himself and said he wanted to help us.
When we arrived in Germany, I decided to leave everyone so that the driver escaped taking some risks. We stayed in Berlin and then went to Hamburg and on to Denmark and Copenhagen. Finally we took a train to Malmö.
What I miss most is my house and my friends. I have many friends who have gone away. I miss how we lived in Syria, to visit different business, to go to university. I miss everything.
A Million Stories Sweden: Nizar Keblawi, Nina Olsson, Sara Sarabi, Malin Gillberg, Daniel Björklund, Mats Nordström.
A Million Stories Sweden volunteers: Fariborz Ghadir, Mohamad Mohsin, Yazan Saad, Tarek Aloudallah, Dalia Saleem, Yara Ali, Ahmad Younes, Chaimae Hamri.
In association with
Dublin Core: Language: swe Subject: asylum, refugees, A Million Stories, Sweden