So I had to go

My name is Mamadou Sow. I’m from Guinea. I am 45 years old. I’m a father. I have four children and I am a computer specialist by profession. I’ve been in Germany for three and a half years. I go to VHS in the language course to learn German at level A2 .

I am in Germany because I had problems with politics in Guinea. Because I was in the opposition of the government. But this opposition had great problems with the government. I was a member of a motorcycle group, we mobilized people to demonstrate against the government. The government didn’t like it – but we did it again and again. The police then came, beat us or arrested us, sometimes even shot us. A lot of people died, I lost two friends. The problem was they had no protection. The police came home to people, arrested them and locked them in jail.

There was no security. So I had to go. I went to Senegal for two years and from there to Germany. Senegal wasn’t safe either, because everything is the same in Africa. There was no protection there either. I got sick there, there was a lot of stress, I always had nightmares. Hypertension.

The police raped my wife, my sisters, my mother. It’ll destroy my head. After three or four months my mother died, she had health problems. All the women in my family were raped. It’s always like that in Africa, there’s no security. Now I’m going into therapy. After a month here, I was always sick, always sick. I couldn’t sleep, I had many nightmares. Three, four years. I’m here alone. I have four children.

Here in Germany I am supported by Caritas and Diakonie. They’ re helping me with therapy to make me feel better. I’m going to work, because if I’m just alone at home, I get sick again. Three or four hours a day I go to work as a storage assistant. It’s not good for me to stay alone all the time, I think too much.

I hardly have any information from Africa about my family. Sometimes a friend calls me and says it’s all right, but I don’t know. In Guinea, I worked for the government for seven years as a computer scientist.

I want to live here in Germany because there is no security in Africa. I want my family here. I’m afraid of Africa. My big problem is that my family isn’t with me. I want to live with them, it has to be, but it’s not easy. I haven’t received an answer from BAMF yet, the interview there was two years ago.

Storyteller’s name: Mamadon
Interviewer’s name: Sarah El Desoke and Sebastian Abresch
Country of origin: Guinea
Sex: m
Age: 45

Dublin Core: Language: de Subject: refugees, asylum, guinea, germany, a million stories