I get 500 DKK every 2 weeks, and have no rights in Denmark. I don’t feel like a human being anymore. I found three different jobs and sent the contracts to immigration services, but there is no answer from any of them.
My father is here in Denmark too, he is 80 years old and very ill. I tried to move to his address to help him, but immigration services won’t allow that. I haven’t been to language school yet, and I can’t get a drivers license. I was put in prison here in Denmark, and I do not think I have any human rights. Dansk Flygtningehjælp helped me find a lawyer. After a year and four months, the lawyer contacted me. They tell me they don’t know why I fled from Syria. I need to know why they don’t accept my case in Denmark. I had a rejection, and after that I was sent to court.
All my brothers came to Denmark after me, and they all got permission to stay and are now settled here. After the court case I did not get permission to stay after seven days, not on the day as usual. I find that very strange. I gave all my papers to immigration services. They refuse to hand the papers back to me, so I can’t seek asylum in other countries.

My father has cancer and I stayed with him for a month, while he was at the hospital. I had to sign my papers two times per week while going there. I do not have enough money to travel, so I was fined on the train because I did not have a ticket. Often I got thrown off the train. That is why I do not feel like they treat me like a human. I have to ask everyone for money. Who can live for that amount of money? 500 DKK per two weeks? All my clothes is from Red Cross.
They wanted the police to send me back to Syria, but the police refused to do that. They rejected me because I am a 100% Syrian citizen. My mother is from Lebanon but lives in Syria. She got married in Syria and signed the wedding contract there. The Lebanese authorities do not recognize me because my mother is in Syria. She died last year (2017). The Danish embassy asked the Lebanese embassy to register my mother as single, and then they asked me to seek asylum in Lebanon. I can’t go back to Lebanon because the Assad army control the borders and the airport.

I still need my papers to seek asylum somewhere else. I don’t want permission to stay in Denmark. I lost 25 years in Syria and 5 in Denmark. I need to charge the immigration services because I lost my life for nothing.
The police contacted me because I now need to go to Lebanon, but they don’t know were to send me. I must sign some papers from them, but I won’t do that. The police threw me out, and I told them I need a lawyer, but they told me I have no rights. I don’t know why they treat me like this, like a criminal?

This is my story, a rather sad one. The police see me as a criminal, but I am a victim of war. I don’t have any dreams any longer. I am not seen as a human being. I have spent all this time in agony, in a really bad situation.

My son is three years old and born in Denmark. My daughter is two months old. I would like to know why they want to separate me from my family? What are my human rights? I haven’t seen my parents for nine years – only on the phone.
I was sent to prison in Syria, and all my teeth was broken. I was shot in the leg.
I need to know why I don’t get any answers. I get afraid every time I see a police car. I worry about whether they will deport me or what they will do with me. I need to support my children as a father, and not live separated from them.

Jeg var glad i mit hjemland, fordi jeg havde et hjem, arbejde og familie tæt på. De hjalp mig altid. Men i år 2011 startede krigen. Ikke i Damaskus, i en anden by, men vi var bekymrede. I 2012 begyndte folk at demonstrere imod regimet. Så kom bomberne. Alligevel ville jeg ikke flygte. Jeg tænkte: måske bliver det bedre. Jeg havde ingen steder at flygte hen, fordi hele min familie boede i samme by som os. Der kom jo ikke bomber hver dag. Vi ville vente.
Men den 16. december 2012, havde jeg lavet morgenmad til min familie. Bagefter, da jeg stod og vaskede op, kom der pludselig en flyvemaskine og kastede bomber. Store bomber, helt tæt på mig. Glasset i huset smadrede og hele min lejlighed ryster. Vi samlede hele familien og løb væk. Mange mennesker, meget støv. Vi løb væk fra min bolig. Jeg troede ikke vi ville være væk for altid. Jeg tænkte, det måske ville stoppe efter 2 dage, så jeg tog intet med. Kun det tøj jeg havde på. Der var ingen transport, ingen biler. Vi måtte gå. Vi gik i 3 timer. Jeg ved ikke, hvor mange kilometer. Vi gik til en anden by. Vi vidste ikke, hvor vi skulle gå hen.

Vi havde nogle bekendte, vi kunne være hos i to dage. Bagefter lejede vi et værelse i en kælder. Der var vi i to måneder, men min søn havde astma, så vi blev nødt til at finde en anden bolig. To måneder efter flyttede vi igen. Vi var i den nye bolig i syv måneder. Pludselig kom der bomber. Igen måtte vi flygte. Igen biler ingen, kun mennesker og støv. Vi måtte løbe og gå til et nyt område.
Vi kom til en ny by og var hos bekendte i to uger. Der var mange check-points i den nye by. Soldaterne ville have min mand. De sagde til min mand, at han var imod dem (Assad-regimet). De afhørte ham i mange timer, men til sidst blev han løsladt.

Der var mange forskellige oprørsgrupper. Så skete det igen, men denne gang omvendt. Min mand blev afhørt af oprørsgrupperne, og anholdt for at holde med Assad-regimet. Vi ville kun sikkerhed! Vi var ikke med nogen.
Pludselig ville soldaterne vide, hvor min søns identitetskort var. De begyndte at afhøre ham. Derefter besluttede vi at flytte fra Damaskus.
Vi rejste til Libanon i december 2013. Min mand søgte arbejde, men kunne ikke finde et. Livet i Libanon var meget dyrt, så han besluttede at tage til Europa. Mig og børnene blev i Libanon. Efter tre måneder kom han til Danmark, i februar 2014. Vi måtte blive et år i Libanon. Der havde vi det meget svært. Ingen penge. Ingen fremtid til børnene. Livet i Libanon var ikke så godt. Vi fik penge fra FN til at overleve. Vi boede i en lejlighed med mange familier. Vi havde kun et værelse. Mine børn begyndte at få mange hovedpiner. Mit ældste barn arbejdede for at få penge til os. Han var 14-15 år, og arbejdede i supermarkedet. Gik ikke i skole. Hver dag græd jeg fordi det var en meget svær periode. Jeg begyndte også at få migræne hver dag.
Bagefter kom vi til Danmark, i oktober 2014. Vi fik familiesammenføring. Men vi slapper ikke af.

Da jeg kom til Danmark, var jeg meget glad. Da jeg kom, ville jeg meget gerne lære dansk og integreres her. Fordi jeg skulle begynde et liv igen. Men da jeg kom på sprogskole, kunne jeg ikke lære. Jeg havde mange hovedpiner og mange tanker, men jeg ville virkelig gerne. Reglerne pressede os. Skulle jeg gå til praktik og arbejde, uden at kunne tale dansk? Det gik meget hurtigt. Mange krav. Når man har haft svære oplevelser, har man brug for at få tid til at lære. Det er svært!

Jeg blev færdig med sprogskolen efter et år og otte måneder, men mine børn lærer hurtigt. Jeg går på Voksen Uddannelses Center nu, i 9. klasse. Jeg har en uddannelse fra mit hjemland, men jeg skal starte forfra. Jeg vil gerne arbejde her som lærer eller pædagog, selvom reglerne er meget svære. Jeg tror, der er nogle mennesker, der tror at alle flygtninge er ”dårlige for Danmark”. Måske tror nogle mennesker, at alle flygtninge vil skade Danmark, fordi der er nogle få, der laver ballade i Danmark eller EU. Det er ikke derfor, vi kom. Vi vil bare gerne leve et komfortabelt liv, lære dansk og integreres. Vi vil bare gerne have et job og et godt liv. Men der er også mange danskere, der har hjulpet mig. Frivillige, der står parat til at hjælpe os med alt muligt, både sprog, kultur og praktiske ting. Men det er stadig meget hårdt i Danmark.
Det kræver en open mind.
Jeg skal sørge for, at mine børn og børnebørn kommer ind på en ”god vej”. De skal integreres. Vi skal lære en ny kultur at kende, men vi vil også gerne beholde vores egne traditioner.

Nogle gange synes jeg det er frustrerende. Nogle gange har jeg brug for hjælp. Jeg forstår det ikke. Jeg skal kunne tale godt dansk. Jeg vil gerne have en god uddannelse, men hvornår er det godt nok? Hvornår er jeg klar?
Jeg er uddannet lærer i mit hjemland, og jeg vil også gerne være lærer her. Ikke rengøringsassistent. Unge mennesker lærer hurtigere end mig. Hvornår er jeg klar? Det er svært at forstå systemet her. Jeg er ikke ung, men jeg siger altid ”Jeg skal, jeg skal, Jeg SKAL lære det”.
Men det er fint at det er sikkert her. Nu ved jeg mine børn er ok, og ingen tager min mand. Der er sikkerhed og fremtid. Jeg skal elske Danmark for at fortsætte.

I came to Denmark 15 November 2015.
Before the war, I had a beautiful life. I am a certified lawyer. I use to go all over the place, to visit, to parties and to live life.
In Syria, I worked as a manager for the employees. My husband was able to escape the war by going to Saudi Arabia, and went on to Europe. I was waiting for family reunification. Because I am from Hama also, I was very afraid that the Assad regime would catch me. They had arrested my husband and tortured him, before he was able to escape. Assad’s father, Hafez Assad, had killed all the men over the age of 16, in my hometown. There was a long history of violence in that city from the Assad family.

After my husband escaped from Syria, the regime was after us. They kept knocking on the door, looking for him. My daughter was very afraid. I had to escape. I went to my husband’s sister in Lebanon to stay for four months. Thereafter I escaped to Saudi Arabia to stay with my husband. I stayed there with him for eighteen month. Then he fled to Europe. It was too dangerous for my young daughter and me to go on that trip with him. I stayed in Saudi Arabia on my own for a year. It was extremely difficult for me as a woman to be alone in Saudi Arabia. I could not walk alone outside and nor could my daughter. I worked for a woman in a salon to get money and she had to pick me up and drive me home every day. After 8 month, my sister fled to Germany. I stayed alone in for another two month before travelling to Denmark together with my three-year daughter.

I travelled to Turkey and from Turkey to Greece in an inflatable boat. I do not want to talk about that trip because it is too hard for me to think about it. From Greece, I came to Denmark via the Balkan route.
When I came to Denmark, I stayed at a camp in Ribe in Jutland. Then I went to a refugee camp in Roskilde. After I got permission to stay, I lived in a shared house in Snoldelev. Finally, I got an apartment in Roskilde.
I am at an internship at a kindergarten in Denmark. I would like to say to the Danish government, that they should be friendlier towards us. They are changing the laws, and make us feel very insecure. They talk badly to us, and force us to do things. Why do they not communicate in a more friendly way? I feel uncertain for my daughter’s future. because I so not know how they will treat her. Will they send her back to Syria one day? Can she build a life here?

I came to Denmark on the 16th of February 2015. I used to work in IT-support in the Danish environmental protection agency in Aarhus. Before that I worked with IT development in Novicell. I stopped working there because I got accepted at the University in Aarhus, to study civil engineering, which I also studies in Damascus.
I just lived like any normal child in Syria. When I was 11 years old I had already finished all of the computing courses that were available to me in Syria. I was the youngest person to do that. The held a big party for me at the Maamoun institute in Damascus, which has now become a private university. I took many courses. I started with windows and the office programs. Then they gave me an internet course, because the internet was so new in Syria, at that time. After that I started with accounting. This was at the age of nine. Then I got a course on how to repair computers – building them regarding software and hardware. Then the accountant at my father’s clothes company got sick, so I could help my father with that job. I worked both in the company and in the warehouses. From that time I started as an accountant there.

At that time I started to get a design course at the University. There I worked with correct drawing, Photoshop and advanced Photoshop. I learned the program Dreamweaver. This was at the age of ten. Then I learned 3D max and Maya, which deals with computer animation. Then I was offered AutoCAD which is a program that works with architectural planning and civil engineering. This was the last course they could offer me. The youngest person there was 25 years old, and I was only 11 years old.  After these courses they had nothing more to offer me. Then I just started teaching myself, practicing and getting the experience myself. Just to better myself. At that time the fastest internet connection in Syria was 8 Kbit pr. Second.
I also got experience working in my fathers company. Then I started to get fashion design courses. I am not the best, but I can design dresses for girls. I got a lot of courses in English also. I could have taken more courses in Jordan, but they would not let me travel there, because I am Palestinian. So I just focused on working in my fathers company. Then I studied It-engineering, where I got an honor degree. Once I was in a competition in typing and coding, where I typed 182 letters pr. Minute in both English and Arabic. Then I was offered a job in another company, but I couldn’t go, because in Syria, when you are already in one company, you can’t just work somewhere else.  It’s like the football teams, in a way – if you for example are playing for Real Madrid, you can’t just go and play for Barcelona. That is just the system in Syria, so I just worked in my father’s company and studies at the same time.

The problem in Syria is that the information is restricted. The reason why most people have a hard time learning English or getting more information, other that what is offered in the library in Damascus, which is Assad’s library, is that the information in censored. It is retsticted. For example, a lot of books are prohibited. I don’t want to read the books they want me to read – I want to choose my own books. Fx. Google chrome is also prohibited in Syria, and so is Youtube and all of Apple’s applications. I had to use my skills in computing to break through the firewalls, so I could access the information.
The last days of my life in Syria, when I was working in my father’s company, The Free Syrian Army captures me and tried to kill me. At that time my life changed drastically. I as driving in my car, and a motorbike tried to stop me. There were two people on the motorbike. They had automatic machineguns, and waved me to the side of the street. They wanted me to stop the car and give them the keys. I realized I was in trouble, so I drove away as fast as I could. 160 mph down a very narrow street, where there was many dumpsters. I was surprised to find out that it was an organized operation to stop me. There were two 4 wheel drive cars blocking the end of the streets in both directions, and they had anti-tank rockets. They had big speakers ordering me to stop, or they would blow up my car. I had to stop! When I looked to the left, there was my fathers company. I was so nervous, that I did not recognize where I was. I ran towards the company, and normally the door was open, because there are always many goods going in and out. But that day it was closed. Something was wrong. I knew it was organized.

As I said, some days I worked there as an accountant, working with the payroll. On this particular day, when they wanted to capture me, it was payday. They wanted money. We used to deliver the money to the employees and the business men, we did business with, on Thursdays. On that day I was already nervous, because we had been getting threatening calls. I had told my father, that I did not want to deliver money that day, but my father said I had to do it. He said he would take care of me. I said ok, but I would only deliver to the employees – not the businessmen. I delivered 6500 dollars, instead of 36500, to the employees. We deal in dollars, because that monetary unit is stable. We only convert the money when we need it. I left the money in the car, ran to the factory door and rang the alarm bell. I rang it 12 times, but no one answered. So they caught me. It was 12:30 in the afternoon. It was a sunny day. It was Ramadan, so I was thirsty, hungry and tired.

They caught me, and started to hit me in a very violent way. They took me to a dried out river. There was a very bad smell and many insects, because many people had been killed there. They put me on my knees, by the river, after they had beat me. They were saying “Allahu Akbar”, and started shooting into the air. Then, suddenly, one of the men’s phone rang. It was an old Nokia, so I could hear what the person was saying. I could hear that it was one of the businessmen that worked for my father’s company, so he knew me. He told the men to leave me alone, and not to kill me. But the man wanted to make me very nervous. He said to me, while I was on my knees “I do not want to pay one dollar for a bullet to execute you. I will kill you with a blunt knife”. I said ok, because at that time I just wanted to get out of the situation. He shot into the air again, and pulled my head back, as if he was about to cut my throat. Then he stopped. He said, “How much money do you have in the car”? I said “Why are you asking, when you already know”? He dragged me back to the car, took the money, and told me to call my father, whom was at our house. At that time I thought my father did not know anything. I had forgotten that we had put cameras in the streets around the company, so he already knew. I called my father, and said “They have taken me.” My father said, he knew. He wanted to talk to them. They told my father thay wanted 40.000 dollars to let me go. They made a deal, that my father would give them 20.000 dollars including the 6500 dollars from the car. The problem was, they said they wanted the money in 10 minutes. My father said “Give me a chance to get the money, and get my son.” My father did not know where I was, only that they had taken me, so he called my uncle at the factory. He told him to go to where The Syrian Free Army was holding me, deliver the money, and take me to the hospital.
From the hospital, we all escaped from Syria to Egypt. We stayed there for one year and tried to make a new life for ourselves. Unfortunately, we found that there was no way we could start a new company there, so we went to Beirut in Lebanon. We stayed there for a year, but we spent a lot of money, because the cost of living there is very expensive. I got a job at a mobile phone company, but he would only pay me 10-15 dollars a day, and that was not even enough to pay for transport. I had to quit. It was a shame because I liked my job. I was working with what I liked, and I had something to do, instead of staying home.

We went back to Syria to our house. It was in a safe area – the same area where Assad lived. There were many checkpoints etc. Unfortunately, we started to be threatened again, so we decided to flee to Denmark. 17 members of our family fled with us, but not everyone went to Denmark. Some went to Germany and some to Sweden.
I have many ideas for projects and small businesses. I do not just want to live on student grants while I am studying. I want to work on the side. Maybe I can use one of my ideas to do that. I am glad to be in Denmark. Mostly people are very kind. On social Facebook, there are many racist groups, but that is not the reality I see. We have many Danish friends whom help us a lot.
It was not easy at all to reach Denmark. Many Danish people ask me “Are you glad, you have an apartment here in Denmark”? “Are you glad you are here in Denmark”? Of course, I am happy, but I want people to know that I had a very good life in Syria. A very luxurious life. Not like here in Denmark. I had a big house with housekeepers and big cars.  Some people in Denmark ask “Why do you not go back to Syria, then”? I want them to know, that our ONLY wish is to do that. It is not safe now, so we cannot.
When I left, I left separately. My family members followed me through Aleppo. I met up with all of my family members in Turkey. I went through Alqamishli to Turkey. I dealt with a smuggler, and paid him money. We started the journey at 3 pm. He said to me, I just had to wait for ten minutes then another car would come and get me. That was a big lie. We tried to cross the border three times, but the Turkish police caught us and sent us back.

It was not easy for me to walk in the mountains. I was so tired. The time was 7 pm. I could not continue to walk in the dangerous mountains. I went back to the smugglers and said that could not continue. They said “You have paid a lot of money to have a good trip, so stay beside the micro-bus, and I will arrange a trip just for you”. I had to believe him, because I had no other possibilities, but I was afraid because of my previous experiences. He waited until everyone had left the place, then they got their weapons out, and told me to empty my pockets. I did what they said. I do not know why they believed that I gave them everything that I had, because I had a secret pocket with another mobile phone. They tool my luggage and my water. On these types of trips, you take better care of your water than of your money, because money cannot save your life.

The smugglers gave me an offer I could not refuse. They said “Now you must go and never come back, or we will kill you”. At that point I felt like I had no choice. I wanted to get to Turkey as soon as possible. They just said to me “Do you see those four mountains”? I said “Yes”. They said “Cross them”. At that time, I just focused all of my energy on one thing: to find the other group, that I had been travelling with until that point. I ran and ran to catch up with them or just to find any sign of life. Lucky for me, the Turkish police had stopped them, so I found them. Even though I did not know those people, I felt such a relief – like I had been reunited with my family – because it gave me hope. Then we started to support eachother as we crossed the mountains. We held hands so we could catch eachother, climbing up the mountains. It is very dangerous because of the steep incline. We had to cross four mountains and three villages. At the top of the second mountain, my foot got stuck between two big rocks. Two strong men from our group tried to move one of the rocks. While they were moving the rock, to free my foot, they accidentally broke my chin. It was an open fracture. I screamed so my group left me. They ran. They were afraid to get discovered by the police. I was dizzy, and felt it was so painful. It was dark. I laid down and could not move, because my foot was still stuck. Then two animals, which looked like dogs, approached. They were not dogs, but hyenas. I saw two people coming towards me. It was two of the members from my group that had come back to help me.  They lit some sticks on fire to chase away the animals. I said thank you for chasing the dogs away. They told me that they were not dogs, but hyenas. The people who helped me lived in the mountains, so they were experienced with that. The two men from the group laid down next to me, and pushed the rock away with their feet. One of the guys from the group was medically trained. He told me to bite down on a stick, and then they put the bone back in my leg. They said I had two choices. I could either go back to the smugglers or they could try to carry me over the mountains. I am so grateful to them, because I am very heavy. It took a lot of strength for them to carry me across two mountains on such a narrow edge.

Finally, I got to Turkey, where I was reunited with my family. From there we travelled to Greece by yacht. A police boat caught us in the middle of the sea. The captain talked to them, and they let us go. Finally, we were in Greece. We were stuck there for ten months. From there we walked to Austria. We walked in 35 degrees below zero through Macedonia, Serbia, and Beograd, Hungary. From Hungary, they brought cars to go to Vienna. We had walked for long periods. I wore six jackets and four pairs of trousers. We ate just snickers and mars bars because they were very light weight and give a lot of energy. From Vienna we got a plane to Copenhagen. Finally on the 16th of February 2015 we arrived.

I’m originally from Syria, and when the revolution broke out against the tyrant Assad, I was a student in the university. I was studying my third semester and I was one of the best students in my subject. That meant that the institutions of the Syrian regime were very interesting in using me and my expertise. They wanted me to make presentations and convince others to join the war and be a part of the conflict. I refused to do so – I didn’t want to contribute to the killing of innocent people. I believe in freedom and am against corruption. But as you probably know, it can be very dangerous to say no to the regime. I was wanted by the regime.
At that time, I lived 30 km from Damascus, and on the route there were 12 checkpoints. This meant that I couldn’t leave my city, and I felt very hopeless, and that my future was ruined. I’m a person who loves to study and do scientific research, and I have a dream to become a scientist, or a professor, so it was difficult to see my dream fade away.

I started to think of ways I could leave Syria, and finally I decided that the safest way was to go to Lebanon and then to Europe. The reason that I wanted to continue to Europe was that the situation was very bad in Lebanon, especially when it comes to my possibilities to continue my education and follow my dream. To get to Europe from Lebanon I had to travel to Algeria (as Syrians at that time didn’t need a visa to travel there), then go to Tunisia, Libya, and from there take a boat to Italy. It was a dangerous route. At the border control between Tunisia and Libya, they were shooting at people, so we crossed the border at night in order not to be seen. The situation in Libya was very bad. I stayed there 10-15 days until I found a possibility to go by a boat to Europe. I paid a lot to go by this fishing boat. The trip was two days. I was actually not worried to die at the sea. I put my trust in God.
The reason why I chose to go to Denmark was that I have close relatives here. I was still young when I arrived here, and I didn’t have experience living on my own. I come from a social and conservative family, so the fact that I had close relatives in Denmark was an important reason.
I got my residence permit on the ground of political asylum, as the regime had made many threads against me. Many of the students from my faculty had actually been killed for refusing to cooperate with the regime. Some of them had also complied and are now involved in killing people.

In Syria I was always interested in learning languages, and this is still a hobby of mine. I know French, Spanish, Arabic, and now Danish (though I am still not satisfied with my level in Danish). I learned Danish at the highest level in order to get into university. I succeeded to get admission in the same field as I was studying in Syria, and I am very happy and satisfied with my studies and with the good relationships with the professors and the fellow students.

Therefore, to sum up, the reasons that I fled to Denmark were; family, safety, education-opportunity, and freedom. It was not for economic reasons, as some people might think. I don’t come from a poor family, but from the middle class.

I felt very welcomed by the Danish people. I had good social experiences with my neighbors, in the language school, and in society in general.
It can be difficult sometimes in relation to the Danish language and culture, but one needs to have patience and be open-minded. And it is also important to keep a balance between one’s own culture and the culture of the host country to create a successful social integration. I’m very interested in cultural exchange, and therefore I also established a cultural association together with my friends.

I’m from Lattekia in Syria and my whole family are there.
I don’t know how where I will start my story, but I shall tell what happened exactly and what made me flee from my country. I was living in Syria in Lattekia, and I was working and it was a normal life, together with my family. It was right after I finished my obligatory military service, and at this time it was my plan to get married and to work and live a normal life. Then the events began in Syria. There were demonstrations, and people wanted freedom and they started to express their opinions, and we were with them. Not at first, but after some time we joined them, and said the same things. Our situation was very bad, especially the young boys who finish their military service and their studies. They didn’t have a future. The families are not capable of supporting their children. The families are living from the help of their children, and they live sparingly. They only pay the rent and buy food, and don’t have much extra money to help their children and support their future. Everyone who was 20 years old and finished the high school he joins the military and finish it. After he finishes the military then his life can begin: to work and establish an economy for a good future, so he can marry for example when he is 25, 26 or 30 years old. Before I went to the military, I told my family that I wanted to get engaged, and when I was still in the military, short time before finishing it, I got engaged. When I finished my military service I started to work a lot to collect money for me and my fiancé’s future.
But when the events started happening and the problems began, some people stopped working, people were afraid of what would happen. Every day something new happened and the events developed quickly. In the beginning it was only demonstrations, and then also killings, and then terrorism. No one understood what was going to happen.
One day after dinner, my friend asked me if I would like to go for a walk, and we did. I walked. It was only five minutes walk from my home. I saw my friend and then, when we were walking together, the police came and took me. They didn’t say why. They put a cover for my eyes, so I didn’t know where I was going, and they put me in the car. They took me to one of their departments, where they held me captured, and after 6 days they moved me to the prison, and I was there for two months and 16 days. The first 6 days were very difficult, but after they took me to the prison it was like a normal condition in a prison. In the first 6 days they beat me, threw cold water on us, and I was tied up with my hands over my head to the wall for two days, and there was no food… Violence and violations. After 6 days, during which they could not find anything on me – I was only walking around outside with my friend. I didn’t do anything against the government, they moved me to the prison. When I got out of prison finally I didn’t have left any hope and the goals that I was thinking about before. I could not think about anything besides the problems and how we could overcome this, so that we can start our life again. People started to give me advice to travel. But whereto should I travel? I didn’t think there was another country that I could manage to live in. We don’t like traveling actually. Maybe most Syrians, I think, don’t like traveling, and actually I didn’t even have a passport before. I made my first passport after I got out of prison. I never ever thought of traveling outside of my country. I was happy with my life in my city Lattekia. I never thought of leaving, eventhough I know the situation before was not so good politically, educationally, and with regards to freedom, democracy, job opportunities for everyone and not just for certain groupings/tribes of people and the fact that it was difficult to establish something. There was a lot of inequality.
But after what happened, I found myself in a situation where I didn’t know what to do, except do as they adviced me to. I searched where I could travel, and I found out that Libya could be a good option. In Libya there were jobs and there was not war. We talked with some people in Libya that my family in-law knew, to know about the living situation there. They said, come here. You can easily get a job and a place to live, and its safe here.
So I decided to go, because here in Lattekia life became hard, and it seemed that the situation was getting worse and worse. Again and again people were arrested without reason. If your age was between 18-25 or -30, then the risk that you would be arrested was higher than if you were older in age, because they were more suspicious of young people with regards to being associated with the occupation and to be doing something against the government. So for this reason I was a target. My age also played a role in all of this. Furthermore they could demand me to go back to the military, especially because I just recently finished my military service. I finished it 1,5 months before the uprising began in Syria. And I would be amongst the men who the military would first call on when they needed more soldiers.
So I travelled to Lebanon, and took a flight to Egypt. In Egypt I stayed for 10 days and then I went to Libya. I stayed with a family until I found a shared apartment with other young men. I started to work. In the beginning, I didn’t know anyone, and therefore the first 4-5 months my job situation was not so good. I maybe worked 7 days in a months. I took any work I could get. One day I would work with painting, the next day I would lay tiles, and another day as an electrician. Later, after I got to know many people, I found a fulltime job, and eventually my situation became better and I started to be self-employed as an electrician.
Afterwards problems also began in Libya. Not just because of the president and the unstable political situation, but also problems between the people. Groupings with weapons started to threaten people, demand money and kidnap people. At one point, during an attempt to flee Libya, I met with one of these groupings.
I went with some friends and we were thinking to flee across the sea to Europe. I was actually against the idea of fleeing over the Mediterranean Sea. My situation was ok concerning work, so my opinion in the beginning was, that there was no reason to risk my life and maybe die in the sea. But at the same time, I had found out that it was impossible for me to get family reunification with my wife. I had to have Libyan citizenship in order to do that. I eventually changed my mind and decided to flee to Europe because I wanted to reunite with my wife. We had been apart for a long time. And also because of the situation in Libya that was getting more and more unstable. I thought, if the problems in Libya would continue or even get worse, then it would not be safe for me. Maybe someone would come and kidnap me or shoot me. I was a stranger in this country, so I felt there was a bigger danger for me. Many people talked about the subject of fleeing, and I knew many people who had already left. Finally I was convinced that I had to do it.
I paid 1000 dollar to go on a boat. We agreed on everything with the smuggler. We should wait in an empty building before getting on the boat. We stayed for one day and no one came. On the second day a person came and assured us that they were taking care of the arrangements. Then the third day came and still no one came to say that the boat was ready. Everyday they said “soon” or “tomorrow”. Finally they told us “tomorrow at noon”, but the time passed, and still no boat. We got more and more worried. Were we going or not? Then a grouping entered the building. They were carrying weapons and they began to beat us. They didn’t spare anyone – the young and the old. There were also women and children, and it was difficult for us to witness this, because we could not do anything, for they were pointing towards us with Kalashnikovs. We could not hit them or defend ourselves, because they would likely kill us. I could sense by their characters that they were crazy and unpredictable people. They had long hair and a kind of scary figure, as if they were on drugs. And their clothes was dirty.
They demanded all of our money and our passports. I gave them 1000 dollars. Everyone gave them 1000 dollars each, and some people also gave them their passport. They also came to me and said: give me your passport. I said I didn’t have one. I had one, but I didn’t want to give it to them. Enough, I mean, they could take my money, but not my passport. They escaped quickly after they got what they wanted.
This assault, it think, was of course planned with the smugglers. No one could know that we were here in the empty building, so they probably were cooperating with the smugglers.
Children were crying and people were confused about what to do now. Some people said lets go to another neighborhood and try to find another way to flee. Some people even said they wanted to stay there to wait for the smugglers and get their money back, but I didn’t care about the money. The important thing was that we were alright. We had to get out of here quickly, because maybe the group would come back and kill us.
At last I left the area with a group of people, and we arranged with another smuggler to get to Europe. I was going to travel with three families, and we stayed with the smuggler in his home while he was trying to arrange a boat. After three days he finally said to us that tomorrow there was a boat for us. The next day we went out early in the morning when it was still dark outside, so that the police would not see us. We moved along some small houses at the beach, where we could hide behind. It was frightening actually. We ran quickly, then stopped to hide and then ran a little again, and we continued like that. Finally we arrived at the shore. There was a small boat that they used to bring people out to the bigger boat, and people started to get onboard. We sent women, children and families out to the big boat first. There were many people, and just before it was our turn to go they said that they could not take more people on the boat. And we were soaked. And we just had to go back. The sun was also risen and we had to get out of here quickly. And they said run, run quickly! We didn’t understand what to do, they just said run… we didn’t know where to. We moved quickly along the shore and our clothes became very dirty and totally wet. We arrived at an empty house where they put us in, and we should pretend that we were living in this house so that no one would be suspicious. Later they moved us to another area. We should stay in an empty and apartment without light and electricity until the next day. The next day we went again to the shore very early in the morning, and this time we succeed in getting onboard. This boat was called the Giraffe. It had three floors, and we were 750 people on it. It was an old boat, and it didn’t seem safe enough. It could easily sink, but we question it that much, because we were destined to go. We sold all our things in Libya, we were finally here and we didn’t want to go back, so we went.
Everytime a person was standing up and walking for example to go to the toilet, then everything was moving. It’s very difficult when people are moving, because it makes an unbalance of the weight, and the boat moves with them. Maybe the boat could turn over at any moment. It was difficult for the captain to sail the boat with so many people. The captain was a refugee from amongst us. He was actually not educated as a captain. His brother was a captain, so he called his brother some times to ask for advice on how to sail. We sailed for nine hours, and during all this time people were afraid. Some people threw up and some cried Every time the boat moved a little bit, everyone screamed – the young and the old. If the boat overturned then what could we do? We would be helpless, because not everyone had a life west. There were not enough wests for everyone, so we gave the wests to the women and children. So for nine hours we were only thinking when will we arrive, and we were also worried to lose our way. I was thinking, Oh God please let the captain lead us in the right direction. It could be that he unknowingly was sailing to Tunisia or I don’t know where, so we were all worried.
We saw a ship coming with the Italian flag on it. Short time before one of the passengers talked with someone from the Italian cost guard. He had with him a kind of GPS or walkie-talkie that he could use to contact some people. He talked with him in English, and then another passenger assisted him because he could speak in Italian. They told the coast guard that we were 750 people, circa 250-300 of them children, and that our boat could overturn at any moment. They must have sent this ship.

When people saw the ship they became crazy and everyone began to sheer, move and stand up, and many wanted to jump in the water in order to be one of the first people to reach the warship. It was dangerous, because we were 750 people and if everyone would jump then the boat would overturn for sure before the warship got to us. During the trip, I had gathered with some friends, about 12 persons, and we tried to keep people calm and gain order on the ship, because we were so many people, and there were no rules on the ship. People only got on this boat, but no one established some rules. It was necessary to have some rules for the sake of everyone’s safety. So for example, if a person was moving too much then we prevented him from doing so, so that we could ensure the safety. This went well for nine hours. I mean some people transgressed the rules, but overall it was ok, but when this warship came, and everyone wanted to move and get up, then it was impossible to keep people calm.

The ship stopped at a distance and sent small boats to take us to it. The coast guard also shouted to us that we should keep calm and don’t jump in the water or anything like that. There was also a danger to them if our boat overturned then they could go down with us because they were so close to us. After about 10-15 people jumped the rest of the people listened and stayed back.
When we arrived at the ship of the coast guard, they collected our belts in order not to kill ourselves with them. We sailed for two days. It took so long because they were sailing around and looking out for more ships to help. There were no food for us, but no one was thinking about it, we were only relieved that we were safe and thinking about arriving in Italy. After one day in the ship we were so cold. No one had with them warm clothes, so they gave us silver-blankets. I think it was funny how we looked like silver-mummies. The trip with this ship was a nice and ugly trip at the same time.
We arrived in Italia, in Sicilia. The church there welcomed us and gave us food and possibility to get a shower. They made many good things for us. They helped us and felt for us. Here everyone began to think about which country they wanted to go for. My goal was to go to Sweden, because I had friends there. Some wanted to go to for example Netherlands and some to Denmark. Everyone had a different aim, and they chose a destination, and wherever one would get “caught” by the border security and demanded to give fingerprints, then that would be the destination country. Short time after we got to Milano where the red cross were and they also helped us. They also made room for us in a church that had become like a refugee camp. They hosted us there for some time until we found our own way to continue our travel. People gathered in groups to arrange the kind of transportation and destination they wanted. I went together with four other guys with an Albanian car all the way from Milano to Denmark. We wanted to go to Sweden, but he said he could only take us to Denmark, and we knew that we could then take the train easily. So had our friends in Sweden told us. We went with this “taxi” through Austria and Germany to Denmark. It took about two days to get there, and we could not make a lot of stops. We were not allowed by the driver, because of the risk that he would get caught smuggling us. We even ran out of drinking water, and we could not go to the bathroom. He took the price of 750 euro from each person. 3750 euro all together. It’s like the price of a car.

We arrived in Denmark, ate a little, when to the bathroom and so on, and then we bought our tickets to Sweden and went. There were no border control. I’m very surprised that we didn’t meet any border control on our whole trip from Italy. It was an easy trip for us. Even our trip from Libya across the Mediterranean Sea also went easy, I think, compared to many other people. Some other people stayed on their ships for 19 hours or two or three days for example. All thanks to God we were only there for 9 hours. I mean it was terrifying, but compared to others it was easy.

We arrived in Sweden. First day in Malmö, and then they moved us to Stockholm. First we were in an area in Stockholm called Telefonplan for 4 days, and then they moved us to Solna. Then we came back again for a while, and then they moved us to Örebro, outside of Örebro in a village called Lindesberg. We stayed for 15 days and then they moved us again to Kopperberg. It was like that. This reminded me of when I was in the military service, where they would also move us around from camp to camp all the time, like one day in Damascus, then one day in Aleppo, first outside of Aleppo and the in the city and so on. Anyway, the situation was good.
So I’m still here in Sweden, I have been here now for 4 years, and my situation from the beginning in Sweden till now, All thanks to God, turned around 360 degrees in the better direction. Before it was very difficult, because when one is new to a country he doesn’t know the language jet, and he also needs to get to know people and establish a social network, who can help each other, and he need to get the right help from the immigration service. If there were no proper help, then maybe we would not succeed. Some refugees here succeed and got better here, while some got worse, destroyed. This depends on the programs that they have here in this country, if they are actually helpful or not. When there are real, powerful and authentic programs that help the refugees then it can really change something for a refugee in a short amount of time.
After one year in Sweden, I got my residence permit, and then I immediately applied for family reunification with my wife. My wife had stayed in Syria since the time I left in 2012, so at this time I hadn’t seen her for 2,5 years. After I applied it took another 2,5 years before we got the permit for her. I booked appointments for her in many Swedish embassies, for example in Turkey, but they closed the borders. In 2016 Sweden opened up an embassy in Sudan, and immediately I booked an appointment there. In 2017 I traveled to Sudan, and met with her there for the interview. I also traveled to Malaysia in 2016 just to see her. Malaysia and Sudan are the only two countries that allows Syrians to travel there without applying for visa.

My life in Sweden was difficult in the beginning, but after I learned the language more, I got some friends here. I started to mingle with swedes. I’m working now, and I actually found this job with the help of some of my Swedish friends. The social network is really important, and after one finds a job then he finds everything in front of him. Everything is good now, my wife is with me, and we now have a little daughter.
Syria is beautiful, there is no place like Syria. I still miss it very much, and my whole family is still there. I talk with them often on the phone, but I don’t get fulfilled by the phone calls, I long for the feeling of being with my family in reality – to sit with them, hug them, eat with them, go for trips together. The phone doesn’t do anything. You can for example use the phone to solve a problem, or to ask your family how they are, but you don’t fell the same thing as if you were there with them. So this is the situation now. Most refugees here are far away from their families, or their families died. I really hope that I get a chance to meet with my family again, and this thought is always on my mind. I hope that Syria returns to a good state soon, and becomes better than before.

But the reality is not so optimistic. No one, I mean no countries are really helping Syria. It has been 7 years and they are still just talking and talking. They don’t care about our situation, they just like to feel or look smart when they talk. They say, “We don’t want refugees.” Ok, but then they should not sell weapons and contribute to the war that we are fleeing from. You don’t want refugees, and we didn’t think about coming here before. We were actually happy in our country. If you didn’t want us to come here, then you shouldn’t have made this war in our country. Many countries only think about the economy, and therefore they sell weapons. They don’t think about the consequences. Some countries like for example Sweden needs more people, and if a country wants refugees, then they can make a war in order to get the people coming. In Sweden about 1/3 of the population are immigrants or refugees.